Now, the privated blog can only be read by me and awak. I looked at smallgerl's tagged, and she confess to a guy that she into mods guys, or some shit. Klaw smallgerl da gitu, wat about awak? You told me about apian and i just can imagine wats he into, the way he express himself. Without knowing him, you love the guy for over a year. when i looked at ur sec 2 pictures, i just can imagine how obsess were you over him. Every single day reading his blog, looking to know what the hell is happening in his life.

This year, im your first guy and u didnt even care less about my life. The feeling of envy overtakes my judgement about you caring. I dun feel the love between us anymore and it kept me thinking. Am i the right guy for you sayang? Many other hawt guys are into you. Telling you straight, i know im a slenger, im a nerd. I dun deserve to be friends with Wal and all of them. And having you as my girlfren, bleaghhhh. 

I just wanna make you happy and be proud of me. but apparently how much i tried, i really cant. I want you to, you know says loudly that "kambeng akuh punyeh", like how i did for you since the day kiteh matair, but it seems like you cant. You know how much pain my heart has carried for a couple of weeks now? I really feel of throwing this fuckin laptop and smash it on the wall. Thats how frustrated i am. Get that kid?

Now i want you to answer me dearie, are you proud to be my girlfren? are you going to change for me? has any other guys caught ur attention and heart? If all the answer is yes, we are not meant for each other. Like how you said it to me yesterday. It really marks a big massive black hole in our relationship my dear. 

Hope you understand what im going through and answer me honestly. I love you so much that i would even cut off my balls for you. I love you

She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not.    

you decide. =)